Spring Break Horoscopes

Predicting your spring break with the characteristics of your zodiac sign

By Julia Bell and Megan Sarns

Aries: Aries are spontaneous and love to take risks. You may find yourself packing your bags on Friday night and hitting the road on Saturday morning.  While spontaneous trips are often the most fun, it is important that you find yourself in good company. You tend to be impatient and short-tempered and hours in the car with the wrong people is a recipe for disaster.

Taurus: Tauruses are a grounded sign that prefer familiarity and routine, so this spring break, you’ll mostly likely enjoy spending time at home. But you don’t have to take a lavish holiday to have a great time! In fact, there a plenty of fun things you can do without leaving the comfort of your house: binge-watching a show on Netflix, spending quality time with your family, studying the Communist Manifesto, or doing arts and crafts projects. Get creative!

Gemini: Gemini are indecisive and struggle to make plans; we’ll help you out. As a social sign, you love crowds. Set your sights on the biggest party destinations. This break you’ll meet a lot of new people and return to Dexter with many new friends. Buy a new bathing suit, pack your sunscreen, and make this break one to…remember.

Cancer: Spring break is the perfect opportunity to channel your imaginative mind into a creative project. You’ve been putting your artistic pursuits on the back burner this month, and it’s about time you roll up your sleeves! Whether it’s dusting off that guitar you haven’t played since last summer or painting an impressionist portrait of the family pet, work on improving your talents. Do it now, for soon it may be too late…

Leo: You’re a natural leader and you don’t like following the crowds.  This break avoid Panama City and Daytona Beach and lead the way to an exciting new destination. Take the road less traveled and discover a place that nobody has thought to explore. Since Leos like to be the center of attention, it may seem like a good idea to update your Snapchat story every 10 minutes. It’s not.

Virgo: You’ve been studying hard all semester, and now it’s time to relax. Whether you indulge in a luxurious spa getaway or, just pamper yourself at home, you favor a calm spring break to a wild adventure. But beware: amidst all the rest and relaxation, a new challenge will arise this month that will put your reserved and cynical nature to the test. I mean, we can’t tell you what it is or anything, but just take our word for it.

Libra: Libras love the outdoors. Pull out your Eno, grab a good book, and spend your days in the shade of your favorite tree. When the weather doesn’t permit peaceful hammocking, head to Quality 16 to catch that movie you’ve been waiting to see, or make some popcorn and cozy up on the couch with your siblings.

Scorpio: Scorpio’s are a notoriously passionate sign, and your spring break is going to be all about the romance. The relationship between you and your significant other may have been tested last month, but this month, you’ll be stronger than ever. For the single Scorpios, keep your eyes peeled for a handsome stranger while you’re at the beach. Spoiler alert: their name starts with a letter.

Sagittarius: As a Sagittarius you have been looking forward to spring break since school started this fall. You can’t wait to pack your bags and leave Dexter behind. Sagittariuses love traveling, and you have big plans for the coming weeks.  Whether you’re heading to the beach to catch some rays or the mountains to catch hypothermia, this break is sure to be the best one yet!

Capricorn: Capricorns are a smart and studious sign, but unfortunately that means bad news for spring break. In the days before break, one of your teachers is going to assign a massive project that will ruin your plans of a relaxing week off. But don’t worry, all your hard work will pay off in the end when you’re rewarded with an A. Feel free to show this horoscope to your teacher as evidence.

Aquarius: Aquarians are a humanitarian sign and tend to love others. This spring break is full of opportunity to lend a hand to those in need. Volunteer at an animal shelter, carry groceries for your elderly neighbor, or clean out your closet and donate your clothes to Purple Heart. However, don’t become so involved in helping others that you forget to take care of yourself.

Pisces: This spring break has you feeling like a fish out of water. You’ve been lonely and ignored by your friends this month, which may make spring break a difficult time for you. But your compassionate and adaptable personality means new friendships are on the horizon. You won’t be feeling like a lone wolf for long.

Valentine’s Day Horoscopes

Predicting your February love life with the characteristics of your zodiac sign

By Julia Bell and Megan Sarns

Aries: Communication is your key to relationship success this month, or it could be your downfall. If you’re in a relationship, a misunderstanding is on the horizon, so word your thoughts carefully (and make sure your spellcheck is on!) If you’re single this month, the relationship you’ve been pursuing may not be as out of reach as you think, but subtlety will prove unsuccessful. We’re talking grand gestures. Blimps are probably the way to go. Most compatible sign: Libra

Continue reading “Valentine’s Day Horoscopes”

Holiday Horoscopes

Predicting your near future with the characteristics of your zodiac sign with a holiday twist

By: Andy Dolen

Aries: Being very self driven and thirsty for competition, you attempt to be the best present giver in the family. You will find yourself panicking over what the best present will be for each family member that you will lose sense of what Christmas is really all about.

Taurus: You have the brightest Christmas spirit of the  m all. Everything about the holidays is special for the Taurus, especially the winter weather and the seasonal songs making Christmas the best time of the year. However, Taurus’s love money, and are easily distracted from the essence of the holidays, and become caught up in the buying and receiving trend that go hand in hand with this time of year.

Gemini: Gemini are among the most thoughtful of people and this truly shows during the winter holidays. However, you can be indecisive. You over think the party planning and gifts that come with the holidays. This is also one of the busiest time of the year in school. You will become conflicted with yourself and have trouble balancing time for family and school.

Cancer: You are among the most emotional and most difficult to read. The cold of winter creates a hard sense of cabin fever and the feeling of having no escape to let go of all the problems and stresses in your life. It will be difficult to contain all this emotion, although your determination will allow you to get outdoors and let out steam by building a dope snowman or something.

Leo: Leo. Lion? Detroit Lions will win the Super Bowl. Facts.     Oh and you will have a decent couple months probably. Your energeticness and optimism will push you through the tough winter season and you will find happiness in the holidays.

Virgo: After feeling lost and without focus for a while, December will finally provide you with the necessary clarity and grounding to improve your work ethic. Unfortunately, this also means that you won’t enjoy the holidays as much as you’d like to. After finally finding this motivation, your extreme devotion to school work will cause you to lose touch with the fun and happiness of the holidays.

Libra: You are at your best in groups. December is a time where everyone comes together to celebrate, which couldn’t be better news for the Libra. You thrive in social situations and it will be the best December yet; however, opposite of the Virgo, you will lose focus with school work and motivation for other important things. Don’t get too wrapped up in the Christmas feel; you still have to go back to school soon.

Scorpio: There seems to be a never-ending emotional roller coaster in your life lately and you fall on your face every time you try to find stability. Instead of pushing certain outcomes to other people, or yourself, try to enjoy the unpredictable nature of things and surprises that come your way. Use the start of the holidays to sense the magic of the moment, ask yourself about your direction in life, and make some New Year’s resolutions you are willing to follow.

Sagittarius: You like to be alone. You dislike being constantly surrounded by people and feelings, so during the holidays, instead of spending time with family you will separate yourself as much and possible. You will actually have a lot of fun away from your relatives, although you’ll feel guilty for ditching them for the sake of your own happiness.

Capricorn: Your good managing skills have helped you get all of your Christmas shopping done on time, allowing your family to actually love you this year. Also, your hyper responsibility has caused some annoyance within your friend group, giving them the opportunity to pick on you this time rather than the other weird Sagittarius dude who is always saying weird things.

Aquarius: The sense of obligation will start to wear off and you’ll finally feel like yourself once again.The first couple of weeks in December are for the rise of energy and you will be conflicted about many issues at this time. As the end of the month approaches and the holiday rush sets in, you will feel the anger wear off and finally be able to let go and enjoy everything and everyone around you.

Pisces: This time of year is for giving back and helping others which is where you thrive. The feeling of giving makes you so happy you decide to donate a large amount of money to a charity for the homeless; however, you can sometimes be overly trusting. This causes you to be scammed by some sketchy charity you had never heard of, and now you’ll be left with no money to buy a present for you mom.

Horoscopes

Predicting your near future with the characteristics of your zodiac sign

By: Andy Dolen & Joe Ramey
Aries: As Aries tend to be more on the adventurous side and always full of confidence, it may lead you to find yourself in self-inflicted circumstances in the near future. By the time the next Squall has arrived, you will find a time where you were so involved in your own ego that you missed the LITest DHS Christmas party of the year, costumes and everything. 
TaurusA Taurus is constantly diligent with their work. Although typically generous, they also can be among the most stubborn of people. One day in class, a fellow classmate will kindly approach you to ask to borrow last night’s homework; you, being the Taurus you are, brutally shut them down. The next day, on the rarest of occasions, you forget to do your homework. The only person in the class with who you feel comfortable asking for their homework is the same person who you left hanging the day before. Unsurprisingly, they laugh in your face.
GeminiEveryone loves a Gemini. You are progressive, outgoing, and one of the most popular kids in school.  However, you can and will negate this by the time you’re finished reading this sentence. Geminis often drive themselves into situations that are difficult to get out of. Thinking you’re somewhat invincible, your self-centeredness will cause you to get into a fender bender with an old lady who you were tailgating for driving 20 mph under the speed limit.
CancerCancers are some of the hardest workers when it involves helping others, but when it comes to themself, it’s a different story. Cancers are among the best professional procrastinators. Midterms are coming up soon, but it’s that point when they believe they’re too far way to actually start studying, so they turn their focus elsewhere. Let’s just say, one thing leads to another, and you could be in danger of failing all of your finals.
LeoLeos like to be in the limelight. Although they can be very warm hearted, your  self-centered tendencies have allowed you to dig yourself an imaginary hole that can only be explained as a taste of your own medicine. Specifically, your tendencies will cause you to miss a whole lesson because you were too busy attempting to impress the three girls behind you (with seemingly no positive reaction from them), and you fail a test because of it. Congrats.
VirgoYour critical outlook on most everything in life has caused you to be a person who is constantly in search of friends. Your ideal friends cannot be found because of your compulsive problem of being overly picky and selective. Forcefulness will cause isolation from others, but with the calmness and patience of the Virgo, people will notice your great personality and modesty. Hopefully.
LibraYour constant search for justice and a balanced life within all facets has caused you to try too hard, and in turn, you miss what’s going on around you. You have focused too much on school, and how you can attempt to balance it, and not enough time on a balanced social life.These incessant checkups of everyone else but yourself have caused you to lack self awareness and become a recluse. On the other hand, this search for balance has caused you to do well in school. You speak up about your views in an attempt to create justice between differing demographics or social groups. 
ScorpioYour constant search for information about everyone has caused you to become a bit of a stalker, causing negative connotations to formulate. You have to try and quell your drive to learn more about others, and focus more on what really matters: yourself. This drive has also affected you positively because you don’t stop until you get the correct answers, or at least the answers you want. This helps you academically.
SagittariusYour unparalleled drive to find answers about seemingly meaningless topics has caused you to wander off. Not quite a “meaningless” wander, but one with reason. Confusing, I know, but you will have to take yourself and find your path to newfound success. Whether in school or other activities, stay on your path and do not quit your search for answers.
CapricornYour “know-it-all” tendencies have led you to the believe in your own lies. You were underprepared for your science test and absolutely bombed it. My condolences. Try better next time. These “know-it-all” habits have also lead you to drive your friends away without return. On the bright side, your impeccable managing skills allowed you to produce a solid routine that propels you to academic success more often than not.
AquariusAquarians defy all logic and reason.  They’re not from our world, and on the rare occasion they do decide to visit the rest of us here, their minds are still stuck somewhere we’ve never been nor really care to go. You will find yourself daydreaming in class and absolutely freaking out when the teacher comes and taps you on the shoulder, and incidentally giving them a big shiner.
PiscesPisces are extremely selfless and always willing to help others. However, Pisces find it difficult to say no (which in high school can become a problem). Stacks and stacks of responsibilities and promises build up on your already-packed schedule, and you feel the need to accomplish every one of them or else you will feel guilty. This causes you to become extremely overwhelmed and to begin to fail some of your classes, which is normally very uncommon for you.