Mike discusses various conspiracy theories

Opinion March 23, 2012 10:00 am
(All statements below are either half true or made up … Most likely made up.)

The government has been known to do some shady things. From Andrew Jackson sending blankets with small pox to Native Americans to Bush the Second not responding to Hurricane Katrina, enlightened people realize that what the government says and what the government does are two different things.

Take the killing of Osama Bin Laden. Reports are we had intelligence of his whereabouts for  eight months before taking action. Try eight YEARS!* The prolonged war in Afghanistan and deaths of U.S. soldiers means the constant motion of the American war machine to ensure the destabilization of the Middle East to prevent a rise of a second world power and ensure oil stays below $7.**

But when the 2012 elections look unfavorable to President Obama, look who suddenly turns up: Bin Laden. And now gas prices are more inflated than a chubby kid’s floatation device.

Ever wonder why AIDs is particularly deadly?

The story most people want to believe is someone got freaky with a chimp and now we have the HIV***. What they don’t want you to know is that AIDs was cooked up in a lab as a way to kill communists back in the ‘70s****. With some small tweaks, what is known as AIDs was released to the public. Or select public that is.

And 9/11 was a terrorist attack?! PSH! It was carefully orchestrated so that then-Vice President Dick Chaney who actually died three years ago, could get rich by selling weapons to the military and profiting by selling the coffins that ship the bodies home*****.

The future war in Iran is merely a prolonged tactic to keep oil in the hands of Americans. The government doesn’t care if we spread democracy. Only that the tank is cheap and the machine keeps running

I understand these claims seem far-fetched by understand, these are all true******. I have done months of research,******* and I’m here to call the government out on all the inconsistencies that

*Actually, it was just 8 months and it was wasn’t confirmed knowledge
**Not really.
***Don’t picture this happening
****This is a total guess
*****This might actually be true.
******Nope
*******No research was done

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